The Three Qualities of Truly Remarkable Leaders
Yesterday, while enjoying a delightful dinner with my best friend, he suddenly blurted out one of the most profound, yet self-evident, statements that I’ve heard in quite some time. It started innocently enough when he asked:
“Do you know what it is about our relationships that challenge us to really look at ourselves and to aspire to be an ever better version of ourselves?”
After a brief moment of reflection, I smiled and replied, “I’m curious, and I’ll bet you have at least one good answer after that set up!”, taking a sip of Pellegrino.
He laughed and said, “Well, yes. I think it is that our relationships invite us to learn the ‘value of the trade,'” he said, still smiling.
“Today’s trade is the only trade. Yesterday’s trade, or good deed, or result, has no value. And tomorrow’s trade is unknown, so it has no value. It is only this moment, today’s trade, that has any value.” “So, what you’re suggesting,” I reflected back to him, “is that the quality of our relationships is mirrored in the quality of the trade?”
“That’s right,” he confirmed. “And, both sides have to make sure that there is something in it for the other party – otherwise, there is no trade.”
And just like that, it hit me!
To actualize and optimize effective relationships at work, at home, and within ourselves, we must treat every interaction as if it is the only one that matters. Because it is!
On my drive home I continued to reflect on the conversation and contemplated how this related to personal mastery and leadership. You see, my friend has created an eclectic portfolio career through his commitment to purpose pathing.
He’s had such diverse roles as an HR business partner, a technical product marketing manager for a semiconductor company, and as an industry analyst on Wall Street – and yet through all of this, he has maintained an intriguingly low profile on social media networks. I would say that my friend is a quintessential leader displaying the three characteristics that many great leaders in history have shared:
1. Great leaders speak softly.
Firstly, they are inherently soft spoken.
Of course, they can have their voice heard clearly from a stage, and they can be boisterous when the moment calls for it, yet it is in the thoughtful way in which they interact on a personal level that stands out. They are deeply curious about and appreciate the unique contribution to humanity made by each person that they meet. In this softly spoken way they have their greatest influence.
2. Great leaders respect others.
Second, they are respectful, maybe even to a fault at times. They offer input when invited and sometimes even seek permission before they do so.
These leaders of business and humanity are highly empathic and create a safe space for others to express themselves. They often bring forward a gift of being disarming and “mutuallaborative” (mutually collaborative) in seemingly impossible conflicts.
They teach us that extending courtesy and respect of another’s time and space is paramount. These leaders teach us that the needs of the many, or the few, outweigh the needs of the one. (Thank you Mr. Spock from Star Trek 😉
3. Great leaders are present in the moment.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, this type of great leader shows us the power of being present in the moment. REALLY REALLY present and treating every interaction as if it is the only one that matters at that moment. Because it is!
They know, even if it is subconsciously, that if they don’t make sure that there is something in it for the other person, then there is no relationship. They put down the smartphone, they strive to do one thing at a time, and they attend to listening with respectful intention.
They even practice going into the “observer role” when they are in a conversation so as to observe the quality of the interaction in the moment and make adjustments. Yesterday my best friend served up a gourmet lesson in self-mastery and leadership when he shared those six seemingly innocuous words: “Today’s trade is the only trade.”
Want to know more about what it takes to be a great leader?
The Pendolino Group offers Executive Coaching and consulting services designed to help you and your team actualize and execute your vision. Want to know more? Please connect with us at: info@pendolinogroup.com.
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